Monday, July 27, 2009

Feeling Satan by Jesus Garcia

First: I would hate for the balance of a life to hang on my prayers.

Last: You must sign this contract in blood; he dipped his pen into the steak and signed.

Jesus works with disabled Children in Northern Santa Zanahoria. There he leads star gazing expeditions for the blind and volunteers in community efforts to breed self shearing sheep. He believes in the goodness of man, and the greatness of God,
His writings have been published in Activists Anonymous and the Northern Bobalicón fables
EE King

I’m the Director of Arts & Science for Esperanza Community Housing. I have a past of theater, comedy, dance, teaching, painting & science.

I have received two International Tides Painting fellowships and two Earthwatch fellowships.

I’m usually involved with non-profits and would one day like to make a profit in something practical, like writing.

I have written a novel and a children’s book. I have won numerous writing awards and have published many short stories.

I have a really large (121’x 34’) mural in LA

A Meeting of Minds (121' X 33') 3655 South Grand. Los Angeles.

I sometimes do animal rehabilitation…usually egrets.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

40-Year-Old Punks and 60-Year-Old Hippies by Commander Zero


Digging deeply in the couch cushions, trying to find change, the sounds of angry guitars echoing throughout the room, Mike thought of the Hobson’s choice that awaited him at the 7-Eleven should his mission prove successful: three frozen burritos or a six-pack of generic beer.


Mike stared at the grave, the wind whistling through the bristles of his Dippity-Do’ed Mohawk, and he realized that there was only one way to say goodbye to his father: he lit a joint and smoked it to the very end, the roach burning his fingertips as he turned away to gather his jacket, the leather now frayed, cracked, discolored.

Fake bio: Commander Zero is affiliated with the McNugget Liberation Army, and is the author of the well-known self-help book, Put Down Your Books and Pick Up Your Clicker!: The Spirituality of Fast Food, Television, and Talk Radio.

Real bio: David Weiden teaches at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis, and is the father of two toddlers, David and Sasha.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Face Value by Sir Thomas Barnard, Bt.


Upon meeting Mary for the first time he had memorized her face and voice, her stance and features, not so much their appearance as his perception, if he thought her face pretty or striking or out of proportion, her voice too low or too high; because he knew that with time and accustoming he would not see her face, hear her voice in exactly the same way, could not recapture his original thought of her unless he now made a point of imprinting in his mind those features he thought especially memorable.

. . . . . .


Just before she slammed the door for, as it turned out, the last time, Mary pointed a shaking finger at him and said, with as much composure as she could manage, “You’ve missed it completely all these years, Edward; I don’t think you’ve known me, really known me, or ever cared to.”

About the (fictitious) author:

Thomas Rynshaw was born in 1879 in Basingstoke, to a family of shop-keepers. In 1909 he changed his surname to Barnard at the request of his father-in-law, the railroad magnate Montgomery Barnard, Bt., who had no sons of his own, as a condition of inheriting fifty thousand pounds and the baronetcy. Although taken into his wife’s family’s business, Bernard showed no aptitude for it and spent the remaining years of his life writing fiction. After an unsuccessful first novel (Face Value), he journeyed to America where he composed a series of seventeen wild-west novels featuring a Tom “Hot Gun” Rynshaw. These novels, also, were unsuccessful. It is believed that he was buried somewhere in Idaho, or Arizona.

The real author’s short bio: Terence Kuch is an information technology consultant, avid hiker, and world traveler. His checkered publication/acceptance career includes Commonweal, Dissent, Marginalia, New York magazine, North American Review, Slow Trains, Timber Creek Review, etc. He has studied at the Writers Center, Bethesda, Maryland, and is a member of the Arlington (Virginia) Writers Group and the Dark Fiction Guild. He has asked not to be buried in Idaho, or Arizona.

Fly in the Face of the Evidence by Heather Williams

First sentence:

People always think that identical twins have a special connection, that they know everything about each other, that by somehow looking into the eyes of your mirror-image all truths are revealed, but if that were the case then I'd have had some inkling of a clue the danger Jodyn was in before she ended up lying in the hospital bed, her beaten face barely recognizable.

Last sentence:

As I glance over at her now, her long bangs tucked behind her ears, I think how ironic it is; eight months ago I couldn't guess what went on in that brain of hers and now that we no longer share the same face, I identify with her more than ever.

Fake bio: Heather Williams, the author of two best-selling thrillers, A Clean Sweep and Time Bomb in Spain, is an identical twin who lives in Seattle, Washington with her husband, two Persian cats, and a ferret named Jesse James. She is currently working on her first nonfiction book, a collection of short stories entitled The Secret Life of Twins: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Real bio: Linda Hofke, a native Pennsylvanian, holds a B.A. in elementary education from Kutztown University but currently spends her time teaching English in Germany. In her spare time, she enjoys writing short stories and poetry, travelling, long walks in the woods, sampling European cuisine, and driving her husband and daughter crazy.

Dance, O Corseted One, Dance by Patrucia Abernain

First: She was born in blackness, and in blackness she learned to dance.

Last: The small girl ran into the burgeoning sunlight, waving a scarf the same color as her mother’s eyes.

Bio: Petrucia Abernain spends her days drinking tea and writing delicious verse. If you haven’t attended her latest reading or picked up her book, then she really is quite busy today, goodbye.

Real Bio: Mercedes M. Yardley would blacken Petrucia Abernain’s eye any day of the week. Swing by and whisper sweet things.

"There Is A Time But That Time Is Years From Now" By Nick Redding

First: Kevin and I, we are sick.


Last: We stayed anyway, pretending for as long as we could that we were saved.

Real Bio:
Timothy Raymond grew up in southeastern Wyoming. Currently he studies contemporary American literature at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, where he also teaches writing. His stories have appeared or are forthcoming in Necessary Fiction, The Owen Wister Review, 50 to 1, The Battered Suitcase, For Every Year, and Signatures.

Spectral Tide by Rebecca Nazar

First: “Sexton Kimberly, there’s a wounded soldier in the marshes, peering into the water, quite desperate to die, hoping to reside in Lake Graveyard, and the ghosts are wondering if that’s prudent.”

Last: Kim threw a rock into the lake pleased to see the ghosts ridding the crests of the ripples again.

Bio: Rebecca Nazar lives in Maine with her husband and two daughters. Her work has appeared in Potter’s Field Anthology, Aoife’s Kiss, Champagne Shivers, The Best of Lorelei Signal, Bards and Sages and other online and print publications.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Winter in Abernathy by Marcus Payne

First: Texas in the wintertime is about as close as you can get to hell freezing over.

Last: Lorena turned her face up and let the warm spring rain wash away her tears.

Bio: *Marcus Payne lives with his wife and two black Labradors in Lubbock, Texas. He has a PhD in Physics and is a two time bowling champion of the USBA (United States Bowling Association.)

Real Bio: Tonya Root is a published author of short fiction and non-fiction. Her credits include Young & Bright Children's Digest and Practical Homeschooling Magazine. She is a freelance writer and editor of email newsletters and website marketing copy as well as a blog of her writing journey at

The Gates of Leaven by Dan Cross

First: At 6am, even the smell of rising dough could not cover the inescapable combination of piss and rotting garbage.

Last: Peter dimmed the light of his father's bakery for the last time and walked out onto the fresh cobblestones, counting the flowers to the beat of his shoes on the way home.

Bio: Dan Cross is the author of the cookbooks Pastries To Come Home To and Breads of our Fathers, as well as the novel Pots and Pans. He lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife, two children, and golden retriever. Cliché, he knows.

Real Bio: Ben White lives in Texas with his beautiful wife and is the editor the of Nanoism, a publication for extremely short stories. His recent very short work has appeared in Six Little Things, Dogzplot, Monkeybicycle, and others.

The Crossing by Johnny Dorsey

First: THE CASTLE HAD ALWAYS STOOD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE VALLEY, it’s topmost turrets piercing the clouds. . . .

Last: She knew now that she need fear neither God nor the Devil.

BIO FOR JOHNNY DORSEY: We rather doubt Johnny Dorsey’s claim to be 104 years old, but are willing to accept his self-description as “an old fart.” He also claims to be a gentleman littérateur, practicing belles lettres for his own amusement. But why then, does he have over a hundred submissions to editors? We suspect that, like the rest of us, he bites his nails until he hears about the disposition of a submitted piece, then curses cruel fate if it’s a rejection. Johnny is a devil-may-care flaneur and man-about-town. Too busy to write, he claims. His “secretary” does all the work, but her contract says that everything she publishes must be in his name.

Real BIO:

John Mark Green, Jr. aka Johnny Dorsey, a graduate of the University of Notre Dame (BA and MA) is retired from teaching literature at Villanova University, and lives on the Gulf Coast of Florida, with his wife Marilyn, where they enjoy reading, writing, swimming, biking, and boating. He has sold six storied and two novellas.

Submission Policy

To all people who wish to submit to the magazine, please do not post your submission as a comment to previous entries. All such comments will be deleted, and from now one comments are disabled. All submissions must be (as previously stated in the instructions) emailed to so that the editor may review them.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

First and Last Magazine is your chance to write the Great American Novel - without having to pen all of the words in between. Here's how this works: 1. Conceive of your novel's title. 2. Give us the name of its "author" (this doesn't have to be you - in fact, it might be more interesting if it isn't. Don't worry, at the bottom of all accepted submissions we will give the real creator all proper and due acknowledgement). 3. Write your novel's first sentence, 4. Write your novel's last sentence 5. Send us a short bio of you, the real author (and if feeling creative, include one for the fictional author as well). 6. Send everything off to 7. Wait with baited breath and rapt attention to see if you have been accepted. You can make the sentences as long or as short as you want (Proustian-length sentences may not make it though), feel free to include clause upon clause in a tumble of commas and semicolons, or to keep it to a cool minimum. Let us know exactly what type of novel your fictional work is in just two sentences - or let the ambiguity and mystery be your message. The original Great American Novel - "Moby Dick" - begins with those memorable words "Call me Ishmael." Let's see what you can do. So what is this form? Micro-fiction? New formally structured type of prose poem? Or just first and last sentences? About the Editor: Edward Simon is the founder and editor of the Thirty First Bird Review: The Committed, Critical, and Creative Journal of Religion and Literature ( He has written several volumes of prose, poetry, and drama, some of which are available from the 31st Bird Review Website. He works as an adjunct instructor in composition and literature at several Pittsburgh universities. He specializes in medieval, Renaissance and Romantic literature, as well as the intersections of religion and world literature.