First and Last Sentence Magazine

My Metamorphosis by Gregor Samsa

2009-08-10T17:45:00.000-07:00

First sentence:
After extensive psychotherapy, numerous reconstructive surgeries, and getting an MFA in creative writing, I decided to write my own story and stop living in that author Kafka’s imaginary world where I was relegated to a less than satisfying existence as a giant beetle.

Last sentence:
I cannot believe that after nearly a decade of toiling on My Metamorphosis, while attempting to write the book’s final sentence, I wake up looking like that angst-ridden, melancholy Kafka, and my literary reward will not be a bestseller but the need for additional psychotherapy, even more reconstructive surgeries, and perhaps going on a writer’s retreat in the existential middle of nowhere where I might be able to recover from the ordeal of writing this book.
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Gregor Samsa is the unforgettable protagonist of Franz Kafka’s classic short story, “The Metamorphosis.”
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Somewhat real Canadian author: J. J. Steinfeld.
For a bio note and a sample of his scribblings, visit the aforementioned somewhat real author in the ditch:
http://www.ditchpoetry.com/jjsteinfeld.htm
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By the way, J. J. Steinfeld’s latest book, Word Burials (Crossing Chaos Enigmatic Ink, 2009), comprised of a novel and five short stories, just happens to contain a short story titled “Gregor Samsa Was Never in the Beatles,” which can be read at Saucytooth’s Webthology:
http://www.crossingchaos.com/Saucytooth_Webthology.html
Or if you would like to get your literature-loving hands on a copy of Word Burials, drop everything you’re doing and visit:
http://www.crossingchaos.com/Word_Burials_by_JJ_Steinfeld.html

The World in a Nutshell by Triton Clicher

2009-08-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

First: Under the celestial lamplight of the moon, Vernon gave the chipmunks a run for their nuts, swaggering drunkenly across the lawn, shouting non-sequiturs into the trees where they took refuge, and tripping over the turtle sandbox he had installed for his imaginary children — but something perplexed him, arrested his thoughts, came at him like a barrier: Aren't watch pockets just wisdom teeth for pants?

Last: The time for tears had passed — June missed Vernon, but the indelible stamp he had left on the bungalow made him come alive again, as if he were there with her, holding her hand and brandishing that green crayon, saying, Look what I can draw on the ceiling; as if he hadn't been the unfortunate victim of a graveyard bulldozer accident, but was still here, cherishing their memories together, adding to the banana peel collage or chucking another rock in the garbage disposal to make June laugh and laugh and laugh; as if he still played the ukulele with strings of Mardi Gras beads and brought her chrysanthemums from the neighbor's windows, or hurled the cat at an unsuspecting passer-by.

Triton Clicher was born on a stolen boat to international vagrants somewhere in the Pacific and has yet to figure out his nationality. He is the author of several children's books, including Wally the Walrus Learns CPR, Look! A Book!, Pick Out the Pigeon, Hitler's Arsenal, and Jolly Jolly Gumdrops, as well as three novels, Dalí Was A Woman, The Man From Nantucket, and Leprosy in Limerick(forthcoming from Halibut Press). He tried to write a travel book once but realized he hadn't been anywhere outside his bedroom for twenty-five cold years. He lives with his wife, Tippet, and their cat, Darjeeing, and eats lots of oatmeal.

Real Bio: Kevin Dickinson is the editor of Writers' Bloc, a literary magazine of Rutgers University. He thinks it would be wonderful if, when he died, his friends and relatives would please dump a pile of books into his grave in lieu of dirt, which is messy and unreadable. He would also like someone to devise a cranial organization system so that he can stop living his life on the little pieces of white paper that litter his work area. He drinks enough tea to float the Titanic and loves to write with the subsequent bursts of energy. He has no cats, not named anything because they do not exist.

Season of the Senses by Kanji O'Malley

2009-08-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

Season of the Senses

First: She smelled of apples, wood smoke and the open fires of 1,000 winter nights.

Last: The memory of her vanishing, like the snow flake on his tongue, leaving behind only the impression of beauty and of loss.

Kanji O'Malley is a Japanese Irishman. Thisunique blend of cultures has given him great insight into the human psyche.

He has published many Haiku collections, including his prize winning collection of Sushi and Cabbages. Season of the Senses is his first novel.

Real Author: Evie King (Bio in first submission)

Of Suicide and Sunsets by Margo Shelly

2009-08-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

I am drawn to the nonprofit; to the hungry, abused, scrawny, kitten… not the friendly, undamaged ones.

Crepuscular is anything that is active at dusk cats, moths .... or my soul.

Margo Shelly had an unhappy childhood. She began writing to come to terms with her misery. She is a poet of some renown and much sorrow. Her book Young Verse for old Souls was published by the Pottingham Press.

Real Author: Evie King (Bio under earlier submission.)

In a Foreign Land by Lucinda Bailey

2009-08-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

Our childhood was spent watching the world change through our father’s eyes as one blissful summer day melted into another and one season followed the next, life repeating itself effortlessly, unaware our turn would eventually come to witness and experience, on our own terms, all the joys and sorrows fate was determined to bestow.

First: “I’m upset because somewhere between being too young, I became too old, blissfully ignorant I’d even crossed the boundary between the two worlds, but, now, I feel like I’m trapped in a foreign land,,” Miranda said and closed the old photo album which held a past both remembered and forgotten.

Last: Lucinda Bailey has spent her life working a series of jobs, traveling in her leisure, and, now in her declining years, written her first novel, benefiting from the value of life’s lessons and the perspective offered by each phase.

Janet Yung lives and writes in St. Louis. Short fiction has appeared in “Tertulia”, “eMuse”, and “Postcard Shorts” among others.

Feeling Satan by Jesus Garcia

2009-07-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

First: I would hate for the balance of a life to hang on my prayers.

Last: You must sign this contract in blood; he dipped his pen into the steak and signed.

Jesus works with disabled Children in Northern Santa Zanahoria. There he leads star gazing expeditions for the blind and volunteers in community efforts to breed self shearing sheep. He believes in the goodness of man, and the greatness of God,

His writings have been published in Activists Anonymous and the Northern Bobalicón fables

EE King

I’m the Director of Arts & Science for Esperanza Community Housing. I have a past of theater, comedy, dance, teaching, painting & science.

I have received two International Tides Painting fellowships and two Earthwatch fellowships.

I’m usually involved with non-profits and would one day like to make a profit in something practical, like writing.

I have written a novel and a children’s book. I have won numerous writing awards and have published many short stories.

I have a really large (121’x 34’) mural in LA

A Meeting of Minds (121' X 33') 3655 South Grand. Los Angeles.

I sometimes do animal rehabilitation…usually egrets.

40-Year-Old Punks and 60-Year-Old Hippies by Commander Zero

2009-07-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

First

Digging deeply in the couch cushions, trying to find change, the sounds of angry guitars echoing throughout the room, Mike thought of the Hobson’s choice that awaited him at the 7-Eleven should his mission prove successful: three frozen burritos or a six-pack of generic beer.

Last

Mike stared at the grave, the wind whistling through the bristles of his Dippity-Do’ed Mohawk, and he realized that there was only one way to say goodbye to his father: he lit a joint and smoked it to the very end, the roach burning his fingertips as he turned away to gather his jacket, the leather now frayed, cracked, discolored.

Fake bio: Commander Zero is affiliated with the McNugget Liberation Army, and is the author of the well-known self-help book, Put Down Your Books and Pick Up Your Clicker!: The Spirituality of Fast Food, Television, and Talk Radio.

Real bio: David Weiden teaches at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis, and is the father of two toddlers, David and Sasha.

Face Value by Sir Thomas Barnard, Bt.

2009-07-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

First:

Upon meeting Mary for the first time he had memorized her face and voice, her stance and features, not so much their appearance as his perception, if he thought her face pretty or striking or out of proportion, her voice too low or too high; because he knew that with time and accustoming he would not see her face, hear her voice in exactly the same way, could not recapture his original thought of her unless he now made a point of imprinting in his mind those features he thought especially memorable.

. . . . . .

Last:

Just before she slammed the door for, as it turned out, the last time, Mary pointed a shaking finger at him and said, with as much composure as she could manage, “You’ve missed it completely all these years, Edward; I don’t think you’ve known me, really known me, or ever cared to.”

About the (fictitious) author:

Thomas Rynshaw was born in 1879 in Basingstoke, to a family of shop-keepers. In 1909 he changed his surname to Barnard at the request of his father-in-law, the railroad magnate Montgomery Barnard, Bt., who had no sons of his own, as a condition of inheriting fifty thousand pounds and the baronetcy. Although taken into his wife’s family’s business, Bernard showed no aptitude for it and spent the remaining years of his life writing fiction. After an unsuccessful first novel (Face Value), he journeyed to America where he composed a series of seventeen wild-west novels featuring a Tom “Hot Gun” Rynshaw. These novels, also, were unsuccessful. It is believed that he was buried somewhere in Idaho, or Arizona.

The real author’s short bio: Terence Kuch is an information technology consultant, avid hiker, and world traveler. His checkered publication/acceptance career includes Commonweal, Dissent, Marginalia, New York magazine, North American Review, Slow Trains, Timber Creek Review, etc. He has studied at the Writers Center, Bethesda, Maryland, and is a member of the Arlington (Virginia) Writers Group and the Dark Fiction Guild. He has asked not to be buried in Idaho, or Arizona.

Fly in the Face of the Evidence by Heather Williams

2009-07-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

First sentence:

People always think that identical twins have a special connection, that they know everything about each other, that by somehow looking into the eyes of your mirror-image all truths are revealed, but if that were the case then I'd have had some inkling of a clue the danger Jodyn was in before she ended up lying in the hospital bed, her beaten face barely recognizable.

Last sentence:

As I glance over at her now, her long bangs tucked behind her ears, I think how ironic it is; eight months ago I couldn't guess what went on in that brain of hers and now that we no longer share the same face, I identify with her more than ever.

Fake bio: Heather Williams, the author of two best-selling thrillers, A Clean Sweep and Time Bomb in Spain, is an identical twin who lives in Seattle, Washington with her husband, two Persian cats, and a ferret named Jesse James. She is currently working on her first nonfiction book, a collection of short stories entitled The Secret Life of Twins: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Real bio: Linda Hofke, a native Pennsylvanian, holds a B.A. in elementary education from Kutztown University but currently spends her time teaching English in Germany. In her spare time, she enjoys writing short stories and poetry, travelling, long walks in the woods, sampling European cuisine, and driving her husband and daughter crazy.

Dance, O Corseted One, Dance by Patrucia Abernain

2009-07-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

First: She was born in blackness, and in blackness she learned to dance.

Last: The small girl ran into the burgeoning sunlight, waving a scarf the same color as her mother’s eyes.

Bio: Petrucia Abernain spends her days drinking tea and writing delicious verse. If you haven’t attended her latest reading or picked up her book, then she really is quite busy today, goodbye.

Real Bio: Mercedes M. Yardley would blacken Petrucia Abernain’s eye any day of the week. Swing by www.abrokenlaptop.wordpress.com and whisper sweet things.

"There Is A Time But That Time Is Years From Now" By Nick Redding

2009-07-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

First: Kevin and I, we are sick.

...

Last: We stayed anyway, pretending for as long as we could that we were saved.

Real Bio:
Timothy Raymond grew up in southeastern Wyoming. Currently he studies contemporary American literature at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, where he also teaches writing. His stories have appeared or are forthcoming in Necessary Fiction, The Owen Wister Review, 50 to 1, The Battered Suitcase, For Every Year, and Signatures.

Spectral Tide by Rebecca Nazar

2009-07-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

First: “Sexton Kimberly, there’s a wounded soldier in the marshes, peering into the water, quite desperate to die, hoping to reside in Lake Graveyard, and the ghosts are wondering if that’s prudent.”

Last: Kim threw a rock into the lake pleased to see the ghosts ridding the crests of the ripples again.

Bio: Rebecca Nazar lives in Maine with her husband and two daughters. Her work has appeared in Potter’s Field Anthology, Aoife’s Kiss, Champagne Shivers, The Best of Lorelei Signal, Bards and Sages and other online and print publications.

Winter in Abernathy by Marcus Payne

2009-07-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

First: Texas in the wintertime is about as close as you can get to hell freezing over.

…

Last: Lorena turned her face up and let the warm spring rain wash away her tears.

Bio: *Marcus Payne lives with his wife and two black Labradors in Lubbock, Texas. He has a PhD in Physics and is a two time bowling champion of the USBA (United States Bowling Association.)

Real Bio: Tonya Root is a published author of short fiction and non-fiction. Her credits include Young & Bright Children's Digest and Practical Homeschooling Magazine. She is a freelance writer and editor of email newsletters and website marketing copy as well as a blog of her writing journey at tonyaroot.blogspot.com.

The Gates of Leaven by Dan Cross

2009-07-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

First: At 6am, even the smell of rising dough could not cover the inescapable combination of piss and rotting garbage.

Last: Peter dimmed the light of his father's bakery for the last time and walked out onto the fresh cobblestones, counting the flowers to the beat of his shoes on the way home.

Bio: Dan Cross is the author of the cookbooks Pastries To Come Home To and Breads of our Fathers, as well as the novel Pots and Pans. He lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife, two children, and golden retriever. Cliché, he knows.

Real Bio: Ben White lives in Texas with his beautiful wife and is the editor the of Nanoism, a publication for extremely short stories. His recent very short work has appeared in Six Little Things, Dogzplot, Monkeybicycle, and others.

The Crossing by Johnny Dorsey

2009-07-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

First: THE CASTLE HAD ALWAYS STOOD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE VALLEY, it’s topmost turrets piercing the clouds. . . .

Last: She knew now that she need fear neither God nor the Devil.

BIO FOR JOHNNY DORSEY: We rather doubt Johnny Dorsey’s claim to be 104 years old, but are willing to accept his self-description as “an old fart.” He also claims to be a gentleman littérateur, practicing belles lettres for his own amusement. But why then, does he have over a hundred submissions to editors? We suspect that, like the rest of us, he bites his nails until he hears about the disposition of a submitted piece, then curses cruel fate if it’s a rejection. Johnny is a devil-may-care flaneur and man-about-town. Too busy to write, he claims. His “secretary” does all the work, but her contract says that everything she publishes must be in his name.

Real BIO:

John Mark Green, Jr. aka Johnny Dorsey, a graduate of the University of Notre Dame (BA and MA) is retired from teaching literature at Villanova University, and lives on the Gulf Coast of Florida, with his wife Marilyn, where they enjoy reading, writing, swimming, biking, and boating. He has sold six storied and two novellas.

Submission Policy

2009-07-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

To all people who wish to submit to the magazine, please do not post your submission as a comment to previous entries. All such comments will be deleted, and from now one comments are disabled. All submissions must be (as previously stated in the instructions) emailed to firstsentence@gmail.com so that the editor may review them.

2009-07-07T16:51:00.001-07:00

First and Last Magazine is your chance to write the Great American Novel - without having to pen all of the words in between. Here's how this works: 1. Conceive of your novel's title. 2. Give us the name of its "author" (this doesn't have to be you - in fact, it might be more interesting if it isn't. Don't worry, at the bottom of all accepted submissions we will give the real creator all proper and due acknowledgement). 3. Write your novel's first sentence, 4. Write your novel's last sentence 5. Send us a short bio of you, the real author (and if feeling creative, include one for the fictional author as well). 6. Send everything off to firstsentence@gmail.com 7. Wait with baited breath and rapt attention to see if you have been accepted. You can make the sentences as long or as short as you want (Proustian-length sentences may not make it though), feel free to include clause upon clause in a tumble of commas and semicolons, or to keep it to a cool minimum. Let us know exactly what type of novel your fictional work is in just two sentences - or let the ambiguity and mystery be your message. The original Great American Novel - "Moby Dick" - begins with those memorable words "Call me Ishmael." Let's see what you can do. So what is this form? Micro-fiction? New formally structured type of prose poem? Or just first and last sentences? About the Editor: Edward Simon is the founder and editor of the Thirty First Bird Review: The Committed, Critical, and Creative Journal of Religion and Literature (www.thirtyfirstbird.com). He has written several volumes of prose, poetry, and drama, some of which are available from the 31st Bird Review Website. He works as an adjunct instructor in composition and literature at several Pittsburgh universities. He specializes in medieval, Renaissance and Romantic literature, as well as the intersections of religion and world literature.